Values Based Assertiveness
About Lesson

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Transcription:

I’m Coreen Lawrence. I’m a mediator, facilitator, coach/mentor. I am a mother, sister, daughter. I am a friend to many but above all of that I am a friend to myself. 

In 2008, I developed the first version of what is now Values Based Living OR VBL.

Just before having my daughter, I found myself navigating some very tricky situations, relationships and personalities. 

And what each of these external forces had in common is that they had no interest in what I needed. I was feeling lost, feeling helpless and victimized. I had lost my self-identity and lost my way in knowing how to make changes in my life that were necessary. 

Even therapy wasn’t providing the specific and tangible results I needed. New Age self-help books weren’t helping me to manifest the positive change that each $30 book promised! 

And the problem is that I was surrounded by assholes and surrounded by unsupportive relationships. I couldn’t “self help” my way out of that. Let me be clear…they weren’t necessarily bad people, they were just not what I needed at that time in my life. 

So I turned to the skillset that I know that brings order to chaos – conflict resolution skills. But the challenge remained that I couldn’t negotiate in good faith with the external forces that had no interest in my life. 

I realized that I was in life long relationships with high conflict personalities that had no interest, or even genuine capacity in understanding what I needed and had even less of an interest in trying to meet those needs. 

I was in this alone.

So I worked with what I had. I Frankensteined the conflict resolution skill set of value identification, listening skills, communication skills and I turned my curiosity to the internal conflict that I was experiencing and I became my own coach. 

I spent time discovering which of my values were being frustrated learning how to satisfy those values. I created self-discovery. I moved that knowledge into discovering what I DO want and what I DO NEED. 

In short, I created a process to listen to and understand myself. 

In that process, I was delighted to find that it became less and less important that others listen to me and understand me. I was fulfilling that need for myself. 

And what happened felt miraculous to me. I could release from the victim mentality that others were letting me down or holding me back. I could find assertive language to say what I wanted and needed. 

And it was easier for the people around me to help and support me and when they still chose not to, that was the information that I needed to make the decisions that needed to be made.

Knowing my triggers gave me emotional distance from those goddamn hot buttons. I was clear again in who I was and what I stood for. 

And I realized that I had created something special that I could replicate and teach to others, specially tailored to their unique value sets. 

I created a coaching/mentoring program that I launched as one-on-one coaching, which had tremendous success for my clients!

And now I have partnered with Ali Ansell who is exceptionally talented in so many ways, but is also a conflict resolution specialist or mediator,  and is similarly devoted to self-awareness as an ongoing process. 

Together we have built a series of workshops in the Values Based Living Program, which is a step-by-step system or How – To guide for creating and living a Values Based Life regardless of the utter chaos of the world around you. 

And that begins with the Know your values workshop that is the prerequisite to all VBL workshops. 

Exercise Files
Complete Know Your Values Workbook – PDF Fillable.pdf
Size: 30.33 MB
Complete Know Your Values Workbook – Printable.pdf
Size: 19.73 MB
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